at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
