Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
