Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
