All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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