giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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