Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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