dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
