I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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