he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My vagina just recognized that song.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize