Im at strip club and am horny
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
babies were throwing up all over the place
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
