I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
