why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
