we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
