He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Are we still banned from the library?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize