im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
