Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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