If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
