I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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