What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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