Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
