Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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