She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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