Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
