You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
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in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
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You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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