your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
