we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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