I can tuck mytits in my pants
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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