My brain says no but my pants say off.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm at about main and main street
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
