you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
