Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
