i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
