batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
