D3 body, D1 cock
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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