i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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