Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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