Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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