that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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