woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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