the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
