Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
home. puking in laundry basket.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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