please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
