Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
