My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
