i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
