All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
