2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
