I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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