so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
