I'm sorry my penis didn't work
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
