**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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