I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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