i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
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I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
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The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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