i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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