sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have fence marks all over my body
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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