i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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