im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
