I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
