I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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