she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize