Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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