i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
two words: eviction party
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
