I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
