Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My bed smells like the plague
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
